Saving for retirement?

TPS comedian-come-lately Thomas Johnson sends along this fun one:

If you had purchased $1000 worth of Bear Stearns stocks one year ago, it would now be worth $71.

$1000 worth of AIG stock? $53 left.

$1000 worth of Washington Mutual stock? $16 left.

$1000 worth of Wachovia stock? $103.50 if Wells Fargo prevails, or $1.60 if Citi prevails with their current offer.

However, if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.

Clearly, dependent on the state in which you reside.